:
I'm thinking about the website and my friends. I suppose all of us have two worlds. Two kind of worlds that are different while they are combined with each other in a way that we are not able to distinguish the boundaries at times.
. One is the real world
the other is how we like it to be.
An ideal world where we have Shah Rukh in it in a way, that we can easily meet him and talk to him. There are a lot of things I can talk about. The dream turns into reality.
He is sitting in front of me.
. It is hard for me to say what I want. Words cross my mind but they suddenly vanish. I wanna say I have waited for this moment all my life, but I can't.
I want to say I've dreamt of your love for so long. I wanna say I have fight the world to convince them I don't want you as my lover , but as my friend. I can't. The unsaid words come to my mouth. I can't let them out. My throat is blocked.
What if I let him down with my words?
? What if he laughs at me after becoming aware of my strange kind of love?
I'm thinking about all these. He says :" Don't be shy. Talk to me."
And I remember one night:
And he was .Shah Rukh was in my university, looking for a good student who knows computer and is able to understand Hindi.
He wanted to visit beautiful places in Iran.
The principle introduced me.
. I was embarrassed. Shah Rukh asked me :" kya aap hindi bol samaj sakti hoon?
? C'mon don't be shy talk to me"
. I come to my senses. The dream goes away. He is sitting in front of me. I'm embarrassed like my dream. " C'mon Sepideh tell him what happens to you when you see his wet eyes in his movies. Tell him that you have cried so many nights after watching his movies. I start crying.
. For every moments I wanted to be with him. For all days I argued with my friends who made fun of me. For all weeks I tried to learn his dialogues in the movies. For all months I was waiting for his birthday to come ;to celebrate it in the silence of my room. I start crying for all years I've been waiting to meet him face to face.
Shah Rukh's flight is at 6:00 pm.
He wants to go.
I'm still crying. "I didn't say a word. I won't be able to meet him again." I'm crying. He is going.
"I didn't say how madly I love him." He is going. I'm crying. "I have bought Gauri a present." I'm crying. "I wanted to ask Shah Rukh to give it to her."
." It's 5:30 pm. He went.
I'm crying.
"I had painted his portrait. I wanted to dedicate it to him. It's become wet, because I'm crying."
6:00 pm. He must have gone by now. "It was my dream to meet him. I tried hard to get him." It's 6:30 pm. I'm crying. He is coming!
He has forgotten his ticket on the table.
. I'm crying. He is smiling. He picks the tickets." How many times did you ask God not to let me go?!
I missed the plane. Now I want to visit your country.
Can you show me its beauties?" He whispers sweetly. That's what I wanted from the bottom of my heart. "kehti hai agar kasi chizko dil se chaho do poori kaenat use tumse milanigi kooshesh milagjadi hai." I respond.
I point to a big poster of Shiraz on the wall. "We'll start the journey from Shiraz."
He is laughing.
I'm smiling.
. We are going.
This is the beginning of a new day. Yes, I have had another lovely dream again.
I'm wondering will my dreams come true like the way they do in my dreams? My brother knocks on the door. "Sepideh! Are you still sleeping? There is a beautiful show of Shah Rukh Khan on TV. Do you want me to record it for you? " He says with a lot of excitement in his voice. "Do you need to ask me for that? " I reply with a rather loud voice.
I make my bed. A strange feeling dominates me. My brother wants to record Shah Rukh's show. Is that all I can get? What about all these dreams? Are they illusion?
I look at the big poster of Shiraz on the wall. "I don't think so."
so much
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